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No matter what age bracket you’re in, getting the results you want in dating, can be difficult. Sometimes it’s about being in the right place at the right time, your frame of mind, the time of year or what dating app you’re on. However, there are also 8 dating disaster personality types that may be causing you to make fundamental dating mistakes that are plummeting your chances of meeting the right person. These dating personality types dictate how we date and what our dating habits are.
In one survey, 84% of online daters reported that they were using online dating services to look for a romantic relationship rather than to meet friends or other uses. It would seem that our search for the perfect romantic partner is a significant driving force in many of our lives. Dating can be time consuming, emotionally costly and financially taxing. In fact, according to a recent report from ING Direct, Australians spend around $11.65 billion annually in an attempt at finding love.
With the amount of money we are investing, getting good dating tips and avoiding the pitfalls of the 8 Dating Disaster Personality Types, can be essential in helping you survive the dating emotional and financial drain.
1. The Secure Dater
Secure daters are content and confident in who they are. They are happy being on their own but seek a partner to enhance their life, not to save them from singledom. They approach dating in a relaxed way, are comfortable to be with, and evoke safety and comfort in others. They are patient with the process and happy to continue meeting people until the right one comes along. These are the people everyone wants to meet because they are generally emotionally well adjusted and will add value to a relationship once they find one.
2. The Over-sharer
We’ve all known the over-sharer who makes the dating mistake of disclosing too much personal information in the early stages of dating. By date number two, you know all about their past relationships, their problems, their work, their interests and their family and friends. However, at the same stage they will know very little about you. They tend to be chatty and self-focused, and don’t appear interested in finding out about you because they are too busy sharing information about themselves. They have no sense that the conversation is not stacked evenly.
The content of their conversation is also too intimate for the early stage of the process. They have boundary issues and tend to discuss topics of a deeply personal nature that would be best shared a few months into the relationship.
3. The Lazy Dater
These people arrive to meet you underdressed and/or have poor personal grooming. By doing this, they illustrate that they couldn’t be bothered making the effort to dress up for you. They rarely deeply consider where you will be meeting and dress accordingly. They tend to dress like they are just heading out for a Saturday morning stroll rather than dressing to meet a potential permanent partner.
The lazy dater is tardy at responding to messages and then usually won’t travel far to meet you or go out of there way to make plans like researching a restaurant. They will expect you to come to them or to meet half way. They rarely put in effort of any significance.
4. The Depressed
The depressed dater shouldn’t be dating at all. They are sad because they have yet to heal from a previous break-up, they are generally depressed or they are tainted by the dating process.They will come across gloomy and talk about the world with a more negative connotation. They usually talk about past people they have met highlighting their faults rather than being positive and simply saying “they were nice but I just didn’t want to take things further”.
These people blame others for them still being single and they cannot reflect on their own presentation. They rarely question how they might be coming across to others and could benefit from the dating tip of seeking professional intervention for their psychological and emotional states.
5. The Less-than-truthful Dater
Research indicates that many people online lie about information listed on their profile. In one survey, 54% of participants reported having met someone who had “seriously misrepresented themselves” online. People lie about all sorts of things, age being the most common followed by other facts such as height, drinking and smoking habits. Dating tip: using old photos is also a form of misrepresentation.
There are two types of the less-than-truthful dater. One is aware that they are lying but opt to do it anyway. They would rather face the lie when uncovered and they usually have several finely crafted excuses. The second, is unaware of who they really are and they are largely oblivious that they have misrepresented themselves.
These people put on their profile they are thin when they are not or describe their personality inaccurately. In many cases they legitimately do not see the anomaly. Aware or not, it is a source of frustration for the one who feels like they have wasted their time because of the misrepresentation.
6. The Picky Dater
According to Women’s Health Magazine many of us go into the dating arena armed with a checklist of traits we want our perfect partner to have. It can be unrealistic to expect any one person to possess all of the traits on our list – no human being can. We cannot expect another person to be the best lover, our best friend, and to be able to provide us with all of our emotional, psychological and physical needs.
If we’re the type of person that insists on sticking to the checklist, we will inevitably view others with a narrow vision and criticism. We can therefore overlook other positive traits and endearing qualities because we are focused specifically on the items on the list.
The dating tip is to try and approach the process with an open mind and heart and endeavour to see the potential in others. Sometimes precious things come in the most unsuspecting packages.
7. The Intense Dater
Psychotherapist, Matt Lundquist, cautions that getting too serious too soon can result in dating disaster. Most people who are secure in themselves find someone who are too intense off-putting. When we encounter this type of intensity in the early stages we can often fear how intense the other will become in the future.
8. The Uncommitted
The uncommitted dater wants to see a range of people at the same time or will string people along only to finish it and start with a new person. They have no intention of entering into a serious relationship and they may be aware or oblivious to how their behaviour is impacting on others.
These people have attachment issues in other parts of their lives and are unlikely to change without therapeutic intervention. The important dating tip here is that you are unlikely to change the uncommitted dater - trying is expected to only waste your time.
THE 8 DATING DISASTER PERSONALITY TYPES